19. 05. 2012.

WEDDINGS ... A MIX OF TRADITION AND DISGUISE



Every time I get a wedding invitation from one of my numerous relatives I instantly recall the film Four Weddings and a Funeral. Only on these weddings there is no Hugh Grant to beautify the day.

It's not that I do not like weddings. I just don't like those meetings that bring together people who have absolutely nothing in common except for blood relation. 
 
I could blame the parents ... I could blame myself for not trying hard to stay in touch with the relatives ... but the fact is that we have drifted away over the years and become strangers and we are far from the family photo that can be seen in popular movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

So I don't quite understand why do they keep sending me wedding invitations. Is it because of the tradition? Is it because of the the gifts? Is it because of the number of guests ... I know someone likes to brag about it? 

A few days ago I brought a present to my cousin who was getting married soon. It is the custom to bring gifts on Thursdays and on Saturdays to go to a wedding. This time I decided to bring the gift and avoid the wedding.

I never spoke a word with this girl before. I rarely see her parents. But they sent me an invitation card anyway and I felt obliged to respond.

So I found myself in their house. I handed over my gift and they took it into a spare room. I gave the beautiful bouquet which they pushed into a too large vase and took somewhere else. I sat at the table. The hostess (mother of the bride) was nervous and the bride to be was still nowhere to be found and we had nothing to talk about. A few general phrases and then a long period of silence. 


After cake and juice which I took out of politeness the bride to be finally appeared. I congratulated her and she mumbled a few words and disappeared again. 

A few children were running around and we commented a few things about school and kinder garden and then silence again. After a little while I decided it was finally time to go.
I thanked the hosts for the invitation, I got a piece of cake to take home and I was happy becauce it's over and I think that they felt releived too.

On my way out I found out what was bride to be doing in the meanwhile ... she was preparing music for her bridal shower that night. She didn't even bother to say goodbye when I was leaving. 

Due to the memories of my grandmother and out of respect of my father I felt obliged to do this. And I feel peaceful now that it's all behind me. 

I really love big families especially when they are all very connected and when they take care of each other and help each other whenever possible. I wish our family was like that. But it isn't and there is no point pretending that everything is fabulous. 

I think that now days a word tradition is more like a disguise for gatherings and demonstrations in front of the neighbors and has a very little to do with the real customs and real feelings.

And I couldn't care less for any kind of a tradition if it's not sincerely and honestly presented.



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